DeFi: Millennial Era Finance Is So Dumb and We Love It

Every generation of investors has their thing to make stupidly large amounts of money. Stocks in the 80s. Real estate in the 90s. Commodities in the 00s. In this decade, do you know what’s ours? It’s food meme coins.

Sushi. Burgers. Cream. It’s ridiculous and we love it. There are shitty ones too, like kimchi, hot dog, and noodle. Put a dollar sign before those names and look em up on Twitter.

I used to be a bond trader, and looking at interest rate spreads up and down the curve all day is what I did. That was a version of finance, defined by Wall Street. They created that paradigm of the universe, and we had to learn their laws of the jungle to make our profits.

But times have changed. This is millennial era finance, and it’s invented by tech geniuses with a quirky sense of humour. Take your boomer remover credit default swaps, take your constant proportion debt obligations, I don’t even know what those are, take all that whatever and kick rocks.

Because we are the #foodporn-tagging, emoji-spamming, side hustling generation that’s decentralising the world of finance. We’re used to on-demand everything, so why should returns be any different? What’s the yield on 10 year US bonds? Oh, what? I’m sorry. You actually began with a decimal? In our world, 200% APY is what we call settling, a valid reason for us to commiserate over drinks.

See you at the pub, SUSHI rewards got cut by 10, and it’s now only paying 150%.

Following Sushiswap drama? Then you’re my bro for we’ve fought in the trenches together

One of my less public ambitions has always been to open my own sushi restaurant. Guess what? Turns out I actually ended up selling sushi for a living after all. Investments don’t need to be boring as all hell. Food coins make the concept of money less intimidating. It reframes the idea of returns into a gastronomic metaphor, with colourful UIs and fast jumping numbers.

Of course it’s been called dumb. How can you take money seriously when you’re naming things after random food? How can these eye-popping yields even be logical? Don’t hate. They work. The total value locked in DeFi protocols has nearly reached $10 billion. You know who calls this dumb? People who pat each other on the back just for beating inflation.

DeFi is a computer game. It’s intuitive. Deposit here. Stake there. Approve this. Supply that. Pay gas. Harvest. Avoid the rug pull. It’s for us, the ones who prefer jumping into things without reading instruction manuals or playing tutorial stages. Once you’ve figured out the basics of one game, you kinda know how to play them all.

Have we not been doing that all our lives? That’s why we love the DeFi subculture. It’s fun. It’s money that doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s also why it’s made traditional finance look like an absolute joke.

Crypto and DeFi portfolio manager at Novum Alpha. Adventures in yield farming, written by a wrestler. Are you looking to conservatively triple your money? We may be able to help.

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